I think about all the people who have hurt me throughout my life and all the people I have hurt and I think I know the solution to it all. It may seem so trivial, so pessimistic but its really the truth. There are very few people you can trust. Everybody is going to let you down at some point in time so just get used to it. Nobody is perfect. Least of all ourselves. Some people let others down more than others and enjoy stomping on their souls and happiness and some people just let us down by being human. Maybe they forget things, like when I forgot to go to Jessica's that one day, maybe they say something they didn't mean, or lie to you because they are too afraid to hurt your feelings. I've done all of the above to people and more and they have done the same to me. Don't know what I'm really trying to say. Perhaps this is my way of saying don't sweat the small stuff but I'm really trying to communicate so much more and don't know how.
I think I'm starting to discover why I shut myself off from people. I'm afraid to trust people. But given the above information if someone is going to harm you their going to do it and theres nothing you can do about it. So I might as well stop living my life in a box and being a lone wolf because well....carpediem I guess.
I told Angel that good friends are hard to find. She said "Yeah sometimes." I said "Your a good friend." And come to think of it she wasn't that hard to find.